The term fuck buddy is defined as: Those people who, in a “pure and selfless way”, meet from time to time to get naked and have a good time.
Okay, that’s a pretty poor definition, but it basically encompasses what’s happening. A type of friendship that also serves to relieve your sexual needs from time to time. Where there are usually no feelings or displays of emotions involved, as that would turn it into a problem.
Well, that, in what I want and the way I relate, does not work for me.
Over the years I have formed relationships that I don’t know where to put them. It is clear that they are friendships, but they contain aspects that are not covered by the normal concept that we usually have of “friendship.”
Now I call them “Intimate Friends” (it sounds better in English: “Intimate friends”) And for me, these are friendships that can include some romance, like giving each other gifts, greeting each other with a kiss, holding hands on the street, or cuddling while watching movies. They may also include a sexual component, erotic or sensual encounters and various explorations in this regard.
The important thing is that none of these components have to be there, but rather they genuinely arise within the connection that is established; without expecting anything, without expectations, without obligations… just accepting with open arms what the other wants to give us, when and how they want to do it.
I feel that this is how extremely healthy connections are generated, in which sharing (moments, laughter, hugs, glances, caresses, conversations…) is the center.
Understanding at the same time that each person has their own times, their own ways, and their own life apart from us.
I have had threesomes and foursomes with the same friends, cried with them, had sleepovers with them, gone to parties with them, or made pottery with them.
Do you understand how beautiful it can be?
You can create games, dynamics, and explorations that make them more vulnerable with each other, that lead them to get to know each other more deeply, or that invite them to explore in a more erotic way. Come on, it’s not all about going to a bar to have a beer. We can dare to do different things, we are in this life to experiment!
The fact that sex is not the center of the connection, that it is not the priority, but just one more factor that may or may not be there (depending on the moment or occasion), seems so natural to me, but at the same time it is something so strange in the world we live in. For me, the simple fact that not everything revolves around sex already makes friendship something more beautiful.
Because that thought of “if we are friends we can’t fuck, and if we fuck we lose the friendship” is completely retrograde.
Friendships and connections between people in general can be as deep as each of those involved wants them to be. Because there are friendships with whom not everything I have talked about before has come up, there are some with whom only some of those things have come up, there are some with whom everything has flowed and even more.
Moreover, this does not always have to be the case. Time passes and we change, and the fact that we had an extremely deep sexual experience today does not mean that from now on, something like that has to happen every week. It may never happen again, and that doesn’t make the friendship any less strong, not at all.
Understanding the malleability of connections is a superpower in this society.
I see it as a little piece of dough, which you have to take care of so that it doesn’t crack, but which you can give the shape you want (or rather, whatever everyone who is part of it wants).
Everything that can be created is magical. And before you know it, a beautiful support network has been created, which continues to mutate and grow and change shape and color. And I feel that there are few things in this life more beautiful than that.
